A Perfect Marriage

A Perfect Marriage

“A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.” -Unknown



When we started dating we were kids.  We didn’t think so, but we were.  It’s crazy to look back that long ago and realize that some of the conversations we had about the future came true.


Perhaps being such good friends first made the difference, but we always knew this is where we would end up.


We never saw cancer coming, but we saw the house and the kids long before we should have.  We knew that pull we felt went beyond the physical to something deeper.


Over the course of more than twenty years we have created this life and this family by standing together every step of the way.  Through cancer, anxiety, depression, autism, and breakdowns, the one thing that never wavered was us.  There has never been a moment of doubt, a moment of second guessing, or a moment of regret.  It all happened exactly as it needed to and made us stronger because of it.


I’ve watched you become a man, a father, and a husband.  All of whom I’m proud of.  I could not ask for a better partner in all things.  If we had a daughter, I would want her to marry a man like you.  However, we have sons which means out there somewhere, is a lucky woman who gets to marry a man who was taught by you.


Just like you’ve helped nurture and mold our sons into the men they’re becoming, you’ve had a hand in molding me into the woman I am today.  We’ve grown up together and morphed into these people who are very different than we were twenty years ago, but you’ve directly influenced every change in me.


I could thank you for the obvious things like supporting our family. For being hard working. For being a man our boys can look up to and learn from.  I’m eternally grateful for those things every single day, but what fills my heart is not obligations.  What fills my heart are the small acts that make me feel cherished each day.


Putting gas in my car because I always forget.


Leaving a cup of tea for me when I get up.


A post it with a heart on the bathroom counter.


Ordering food I like so I can pick off your plate.


Drinking my beer when I decide I don’t like it.


Holding my hand when driving.


Laughing at my jokes even though they really aren’t funny.


Rolling over in the middle of the night and holding on to me like you don’t ever want to lose me.


But most importantly, the way you look at me. The way after all these years you can glance at me as if it’s the first time you’re seeing me. As if the millions of times you’ve seen me before didn’t matter because this time is the best.


Through all these years of aging, pregnancy, weight gain, weight loss, feeling broken by life and feeling on top of the world, the one constant was always feeling loved by you.


No matter how I’ve ever felt about myself. No matter how much I ever questioned myself.


Through your eyes I’ve always felt beautiful.


I thought my idea for an Imperfection Revolution stemmed from seeking to change other’s perspectives of themselves and those around them.  To see each other as equals.  I assumed this movement originated with my love of Tristan and my passion for helping others.


But maybe………..


Maybe it came from loving you and being loved by you.


Maybe you’re the one that taught me being imperfect together creates perfection.


Because honestly, I can’t think of anything more perfect that you.


More perfect than the safety of your arms.


More perfect that the love in your eyes.


More perfect than the joy in your smile.


A brush of your lips wipes away the darkness of the day.  A glance from across the room, pulls me out of the dark and twisty parts of myself.


Through all of the ups and downs twenty years has thrown at us, I don’t know that I could have gone through all of the downs without you by my side.


I don’t know that I could have come out of the dark if I didn’t see you standing in the light holding out your hand.


Thank you for being the beacon that signified home.  Thank you for being my hope. Thank you for being an imperfect half that makes a perfect whole.

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3 thoughts on “A Perfect Marriage

  1. Beautiful.

  2. Whew.
    I haven’t even had my coffee yet, and you’ve got me crying.
    This is both beautiful, and powerful Buffy…and true. A true description of the kind of man Bryan is, and of the the amazing partnership the two of you have built. I DO have daughters, and I pray THEY feel this loved, and this way about their husbands, after 20+ years. Bryan is definitely one of the ‘goods guys’… AND he’s funny and sweet, and handsome- you two ARE the imperfect, perfect pair. 😘

  3. Oh my gosh, I am crying as well, such a wonderful tribute to Bryan and the love you two have! You need to write another book, my friend your eloquence with words never ceases to amaze me!

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